after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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