Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
