I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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