Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
