Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
