That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
