just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
