I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
