I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
