fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
