Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
