It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize