My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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