the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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