It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
