Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
