Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
