omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
