just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
