dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
