Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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