saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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