what if every blade of grass was a penis?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
