you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
