Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
