he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
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