you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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