For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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