Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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