I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
