you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize