I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
My pussy is not your playground.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
