He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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