What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
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I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
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I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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