I'd wear matching sweaters with you
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Your penis caused this!
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