bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
