Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
