I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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