I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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