I can tuck mytits in my pants
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
My penis needs a shock collar
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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