if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
