i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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