I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize