So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
