Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I want a musical about memes.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
