Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
