I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
