what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
