I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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