we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
