What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
