is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
