Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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