DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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