the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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