So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
