He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
