I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
