My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
